The headscarf, the headscarf, the headscarf. This is just a fraction of the times I've heard this small item of clothing mentioned this week. Turkey is spinning from the headscarf frenzy, which has given me a chance to meet some women that perhaps I wouldn't have had the chance to otherwise.

I live in a relatively trendy neighbourhood and live a very Western life-style as do many of my Turkish friends. I'm not saying they are all big drinkers many of them are not, but for ease of understanding they live very secular lifestyles. But hang on a minute, what does a "secular life-style" mean? And here we are again, right back to redefining the definitions in Turkey.

A practising Muslim woman gave me her take on Turkey's secularism this week:

"The government should be impartial. It shouldn't violate the rights of its citizens who wear the headscarf by always taking the side of those who don't wear it. If it describes itself as secular, and if we define secularism as the separation of state from religious affairs -this is the typical description in Turkey- yes these two are separated. But the government always had the authority to organize and direct religious affairs. In Turkey, religious life, religious beliefs have always been oppressed."

Pretty articulate don't you think? She is one of the millions of women who lost the chance to further their studies after the headscarf ban in universities was implemented over a decade ago. It's a sad story. She moved away from her hometown to find a better life and get herself a higher education, only to find it was all shattered after the ban came in.

The woman I met is an example of why women need to have an education, because it gives them more choices and as some experts have been saying in the Turkish media this week, could prevent extremism in the future. The only problem now is that women are still discriminated against once they leave university as the headscarf is also banned in public office.

Regardless of the hype and the inevitable lifting of the ban, another interesting development is going on in Turkey. The constitutional package that has been agreed on by the ruling AK Party and the Nationalist Movement Party (MHP) is slated to include a clause on the type of headscarf that will be permitted.

This for me is an extremely curious development. It could be Turkey defining its own Islamic dress code aimed at keeping a more extremist type of Islamic expression at bay. Or a promotion and institutionalising of it, depending on which way you're looking from.

The clause is said to allow "the traditional scarf tied under the chin in universities but not the veil, chador or burqa".

The headscarf has been worn in Anatolia for thousands of years, and will be for many more I expect. This could therefore be seen as a revival perhaps of the "Turkish headscarf".

I tried to also interview a more secular Turkish woman this week so that I could profile these two women back to back. But I couldn't find a more secular woman who wanted to go on the record about their fears. Why not? Even the more religious conservative Turk has fears of extremism. They don't necessarily want to live with Sharia. They have lived with the imposition of not being able to attend university for over a decade now, and say that they don't want to impose anything on anyone.

The problem here is that both sides aren't talking to each other. The woman that I interviewed, who is now the mother of 4 because she was deprived of her education is hoping that her kids will get the opportunities she once took for granted.

I hope that Turkey is able to make this transition smoothly, I think it will, most people you talk to are not against the lifting of the ban but they are against extremist politics. So an education may be the best preventative measure to fight against such issues anyway.

And as my subject told me this week, it is a personal choice to practise Islam and how to practise it.

"We wear the headscarf and the reason is our belief in Allah. Since we believe Allah ordered us to cover our heads, we wear it. I don't see myself in a position to order anyone to cover their heads if they are not believers. If they do, it wouldn't mean much. If they believe, they would voluntarily cover their heads. If she thinks the headscarf is unnecessary, she wouldn't wear it. But it is unacceptable to forbid people to go to school or to work with their headscarf on with a presumption that one day those who wear the headscarf will force others to do so. They act with pure prejudice. And honestly, they impose their prejudices on the other side as a cruel act. I don't think it is right when a person who doesn't wear the headscarf says 'I am not wearing it,
so you shouldn't wear it either'. I mean, people say they are Muslim. But if they don't fulfill the requirements of their belief, the
responsibility belongs to them. "

This statement is an open desire for equality but at the same time denies it, which is the precise issue more liberal Turks have with the more religious conservatives.

Do I have to cover my hair to believe in God? Not at all. And as an Iranian friend recently told me the enforcement of the Islamic dress code in Iran has lead to a less sincere faith in some young Iranians. Covering the hair in Turkey dates back beyond Islam, but was a cultural identity that has been accepted for thousands of years.

Live and let live, but don't be complacent.